(mirror of an article I originally wrote for Wapeach.com)
The 2010s are here! Everyone who was a kid in the ’90s has some aspirations for this decade. Like more old games, please!
Truth be told, it’s been five console generations since then, and the ’90s have long been ‘retro’ in gaming terms. As such, a savvy few developers have already begun preying upon our innocent, financially-vulnerable inner child, offering new creations styled after the aging greats, and starting us on a happy regression towards infancy.
But with today’s gamers more vocal and demanding than ever, the illusionist’s task is a hard one. The memories we’re talking about are sacrosanct, and the hardware that spawned them long gone. While some game-makers have navigated this minefield of whimsy with wily agility, others are still in shellshock courtesy of fiercely-protective fanbase armies.
Despite the 59.83% of the Internet already dedicated to pontification on the subject, I’d like to take another look at what worked, and what bombed, as the powers that be took an undisguised tug at our heartstrings, and a grab for our wallets, in the end of the double-0 decade.
Mega Man 9
Mega Man grew out of the humblest beginnings–a Z-listed title that was more or less expected to fail–to become the hard-rockin’ heartbeat of the late ’80s and ’90s. There was a serious tradition to uphold if the original series was to get the faux-old treatment, and not blow up like so many buildings in 200X.
Yet, Capcom announced that they weren’t exactly going to make it themselves.
If they had to hand off their primordial platformer to anyone, there was no better taker than IntiCreates. Comprised of members of the development teams for Mega Man 2 and other miracles of code, IC had done the homework, made the grade, and was ready to throw us a party like it was 1989.
Mega Man 9 is the case study for making a brand-new old game right. It came complete with all the expected Mega-tropes: 8 stages of killer toughness (followed by the even more punishing Fortresses), a triangle-wave symphonic suite, and, though it was download-only, an authentically wretched “box art” that only a child of the 80′s could love. IC was aiming to make the new fan-favorite, taking cues from numbers 2 (i.e., no sliding) to 6 (late NES-level visuals and design).
It pleased us so much that soon, we’re getting a Mega Man 10.
Our demands this decade: Mega Man X9, 16-bit style
There’s an unwritten and profound understanding that Mega Man X-X3 are the bitchin’est games in all creation. Mega Man X was probably the most natural of any “gaiden” ever: in the leap from 8-bit to 16, the childlike aesthetic of the main series evolved into a grown-up one, and the challenge became legendary. If they would make a new one of these, I would do backflips.
TMNT: Turtles in Time Reshelled
I had high hopes for this one. A remake of 1991′s TMNT: Turtles in Time (1992 on SNES, and The Hyperstone Heist to Genesis owners), I have to admit that I was going to like it no matter what hogslop it was. TMNT II and III on NES, and HH on Genesis had been some of the brightest luminaries of my gaming career. I will forever adore the ‘Turtles beat’em ups, and any attempt to revitalize those games, let alone the entire genre they represent, is a welcome one.
The remake was almost unilaterally panned by players. Moves were taken out, replaced by extra button-mashery; the music was changed, now mostly tuneless and unmemorable; and the levels only included those found in the quarter-sucking arcade version. It was even in strong contention for the user-decided SAGY Award on ScrewAttack (if you don’t know what that stands for, better head over and find out). The charm, admittedly, had gone the way of the big, lovable sprite art, but I still stand in the camp that says it isn’t a horrifically defective game–just a resounding disappointment. Something about these Saturday-morning cartoon heroes isn’t meant for 3-D, and the next time I want to play TMNT IV, I’m going straight for the SNES/GEN version.
Our demands this decade: For Konami to deliver a running, sliding ninja-kick to Ubisoft.
What really amazes me isn’t that Ubisoft posted a €52 billion loss in the last half–it’s that they named TMNT: Smash Up as one of two titles they were counting on for profits. Are they headquartered in Paris, or Dimension X? A Super Smash Bros. alum, I was lured into playing the game by the faded banner of Turtle Power. What I found was something akin to the Digimon fighters on Gamecube. Remember those? Thought not. After the backlash over Reshelled, this was the acid in the wound.
Stay tuned for Part 2!
problemgamer
